I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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