I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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