im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
