Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
