I wish my penis had an off switch
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
