This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
