I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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