Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize