i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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