Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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