And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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