Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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