I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
