dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
