Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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