I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
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What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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