She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
