he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
