Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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