How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
