I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
