I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
