Your face is a jimmy john
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
