Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
