By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
