I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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