my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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