The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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