I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
