I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
