im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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