Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
