Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
