Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
