what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
