So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
