help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
