Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
