soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
