Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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