There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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