I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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