No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
