The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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