So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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