i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
