peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
