Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
