Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
