I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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