I just made out with a guy for $7.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The struggles of a small town man whore
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
