i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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