surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
