She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
