Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
