mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
