i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How's work?
Spinning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
