If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
