Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Found your dick twin last night
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
