Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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